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Daily Dirt - July 2009

Hated Kate Shows Her True Intent?

July 29th 2009 05:00

Candy & Tori Spelling

Candy Spelling accepted an invitation to attend her granddaughter, Stella’s first birthday party on Tori & Dean’s Home Sweet Hollywood season finale. But then at the last minute emailed her regrets in at the last minute claiming she did not want her first meeting with Stella to be on camera for Tori’s show. (Burn!)
First thing: How can you be a decent grandmother and not have met your grandchildren? That granddaughter is one year old for goodness sake! What has Candy been doing this year that was so frickin’ important she couldn’t squeeze in a few hours to go visit the children?
Second thing: Is it Tori’s issues you should be addressing in the letter to TMZ or your own? Seems some women are so vain they don’t like being grandmothers. The word Grandmother can make them feel really old, and face it Candy, you are extremely old. You called Tori middle-aged. What does that make you? Nothing but an old lady, I’m afraid I have to say this but your telling Tori off publicly only makes you look bad. Like you aren’t taking the aging thing well. Get over it.

Be a decent human being and go meet your grandchildren. Don’t let vanity or disputes with Tori stop you from being a part of their lives. You will never get these years back. You step up to the plate and do the right thing and stop your whining about Tori. You are the Matriarch of the family and it is your place to hold it all together. Stop being a Hollywood Bitch!

Candy’s Open Letter To Tori On TMZ
* Thanks to TMZ For The Photo!

Jessica Simpson & Tony Romo

Poor Jessica Simpson seems to have spent her birthday with her parents! Ewwww!!! At 29 you would at the very least think she would have some BFFs to take her out on the town to take her mind off her recent break-up with football hunk Tomy Romo. Word has it he was out partying on the night her b-day with a wholelotta friends, and not all male either!
The night of her b-day she Tweeted she was turning in early with her mom and dogs and hoped everyone in the world would find peace & happiness. (cough, cough!) I see some of the issue here. It’s has been widely rumored for several years that Jessica is way too attached to her parents apron strings for most of the men she’s been involved with. Jessica, girl, you are going to have to get a grip and kick the ‘rents to the curb! They have a place in you’re life and it is called visiting at holidays. The big ones not the little ones, like Flag day! No man wants to date your parents. I have seen women like this before, who can’t put their parents in the proper prospective, they are called OLD MAIDS!!!! Wise up Jessica before birthday number 30. After that your chances head south rapidly!

The rumormill had been in over-drive for weeks lately that Jon Gosselin had a new lady friend named Hailey Glassman but no one had proof. Until now. The pair was spotted in Saint Tropez, France, where they spent time on a boat owned by Christian Audigier - creator of Jon’s unofficial douchebag fashion line, Ed Hardy - before heading to the Saint Tropez Polo Club to drink some champagne.

Guess Jon is making up for lost time now that he’s free of the old ball and chain known as Kate. Good thing she never cries, according to her Match.com profile.

Hailey Glassman is the daughter of the Nyack, N.Y., plastic surgeon who did Kate’s tummy tuck operation following the birth of the sextuplets. The irony of it all! Supposedly that is where they met. So apparently Kate’s vanity and greed for freebies led her husband straight into the arms of a new woman. And by the looks of it, the way she’s hanging on for dear life, Jon’s got a little more control in this relationship. Again, if you won’t make him feel like a man, someone else will. Right, Hailey?!

Dear Carol Anne,

I want to ask a question that has been bothering me for some time yet I am too embarrassed to ask any of my friends. Why do men want sex every night? I love my partner desperately but I do not want to have sex every night. Two or three times a week would be great for me. Even if we have been fighting all day, not speaking all day, have company for over night, or I am on my monthly, which is heavy and painful for me, after the lights are out and we are in bed he starts pushing up against me without a word! This is disgusting for me. But if I complain he says he needs it and will go outside our relationship for it if I don’t give in. I feel used. Do you think I am wrong?Please Help!

Dear Miss Carole Anne

I am a working woman and my partner only works part-time, yet he does not help me with the cooking, cleaning, or laundry. How can I get him to help me some more around the house? It would make my life so much easier.  I am 26 and he is 30 and we have been together for two years but to top it off he is now talking about having children. I don’t think I have the time. Am I a terrible person?

 Breathless In Boston

 Dear Breathless

 Yes you are a terrible person but not for the reasons you may think. First why are you working full time and your lazy ass “partner” is working only part-time? Are you a masochist? At the very least he should be working two part-time jobs. What is he doing the other twenty hours of the week while you are at work? It better be good….volunteering at the homeless shelter? Teaching the illiterate to read? Working with Big Brothers? Looking for a full-time job? If you answered NO to any of the above questions then you need to kick his butt to the curb ’cause sister he is a mucher. Yeah, I said it! He is using you as the mama he still needs because you have an emotionally stunted little boy on your hands. You two do not need any more children until you can get this one to grow up! Until he can willingly be fifty percent of the relationship, and that includes the labor portion, without cajoling or threatening than I would not give you very good odds for a survival rate, unless you want to do all the work and watch his lazy ass sit on your sofa and veg out. Not too entertaining!

I know babykins, there is nothing out there but wall to wall Michael Jackson media coverage so I thought I’d give you a break from it all and rag on about Jon & Kate for awhile. Just thinking of the logistics of these two divorcing is a total nightmare. Can you see them dating? Once any prospective partner finds out they have eight children and in Jon’s case a harpy for an ex-wife, all bets are off. No one in their sane mind would take on the responsibility of caring for eight children because from what I’ve read neither one of them are too keen on being a full time parent. If they divorce the show will tank and TLC will pull the plug, which it should anyway, this circus has already folded and they’ve created a monster in Kate who thinks she’s the shiz by all accounts. Jon just wants to escape and both will be looking for someone to pick up the slack. When the money dries up and the offers stop coming in, which has begun, what will they do? If they are single they will each be looking for a sugar daddy/momma to restore them to their former status. The issue with that is you will be the one looking after the eight kids. You seriously don’t think Jon or Kate will do it, do you? NO, but Kate can be depended upon to whoop their asses in public if needed! This may be one of the reasons Jon wants out so desperately, she has slapped him real hard several times on the show. Off the air? Maybe he’s had his ass whooped too? Who knows!

As I said, anyone taking these two seriously will be in for a world of hurt, you will be spending your days cooking, cleaning, doing mountains of laundry, organizing activites, and in general being a slave to eight children and one adult as they spend your money. If you are broke, you need not apply. Neither one of these two will actually hold a real job and help with the bills. Even when they get to the status of Tonya Harding they will still think they are too famous for a job. Jon & Kate have become so used to others paying their way that they are insulted if they are handed a bill at McDonalds. Rednecks are everywhere!

So if you are in the market for eight step-children and a fat-lazy-ass husband, or eight step-children and a bitchy-whoop-your-ass wife then stand by Jon & Kate Gosselin may be your ticket to happiness. But in a few years from now when your millions are gone, you’re aged beyond your years worn out from housework, and have been discarded for a newer model…… don’t say I didn’t warn you!

As much as I hate to admit it I have spent most of my day watching the very public funeral of Michael Jackson. As if I had much of a choice, it was on every channel. I heard a commentator state this funeral reminded him of Princess Diana’s funeral. I nearly spit soda out of my nose. Yes, this was a slick Hollywood production, but a royal affair? No way! Princess Diana’s had pomp and circumstance, something only the English can do properly. Michael’s had musical tributes done tastefully. A world of difference. But being a country that broke from sovereignty we are forever looking for our own royalty and Michael Jackson was as close as we have come since John and Jackie Kennedy. And perhaps the death of Elvis. We always seem to make icons of the talented who die young be it James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, Elvis Presley, and now Michael Jackson. We transform them from performers to icons overnight upon their death. Michael will be no different from the others. His image will become worth more in death than it was in life and he will become immortal. Although the program had some lovely performances like those by Mariah Carey, Jennifer Hudson, Usher, Stevie Wonder, and his brother Jermaine and tributes from Brooke Shields, Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, Rev. Al Sharpton, Smokey Robinson and many others. But for all these polished professionals and rehearsed songs and words the few that will be remembered was the impromptu tribute of Michael’s daughter Paris who at the very end of the service took the mike and with the comfort of her Aunt Janet emoted “from the day of my birth he has always be the best father. I love you” Then, in tears, she turned to her Aunt Janet and hugged her tight and cried.

What more can be said after that?

*Thanks to TMZ for the photos!

Tsk! Tsk! This is going to get real ugly, real soon. The judge just ruled that Michael Jackson’s mother Katherine will not retain control of his mega rich estate. This I am sure will devastate the family. Michael’s assets will not be at their disposal to use at will. I just know Papa Joe has steam blasting from his ears about now. For those who say “Oh they don’t live together”, please! If Joe Jackson thought he could get his hands on his son’s millions he would sweet talk his way right back into Katherine’s house and checkbook. Wisely the judge set that everything is to go through the executors and all decisions approved through the courts. Now if any of the Jackson family wants money from Michael’s estate they will have to appeal to the courts for it. That’s a good thing. How many relatives have looted the estates of famous celebs after they have died intestate? Plenty! So this prevents relatives from squandering his fortune. Now hopefully something will be left for his not-biological un-adopted children. Mama Katherine already gets forty percent of the estate, the kids get forty, and charities get twenty. But with the executors and courts involved everything will have to be okayed through them. So the likelihood of waste is diminished.

I wonder of Debbie Rowe will get embroiled in this brouhaha? If she can prove she is the mother through DNA and that Michael had no DNA connection and never adopted them where would that leave the children legally? They may belong to her alone and the Jackson family may not have anything to say about it due to having no blood relation. Don’t count her out yet. Like I said this could get very very ugly before it gets any better.

The holiday weekend was a drab affair if I ever saw one. Here it rained every afternoon and nearly every city had to cut their budget for fireworks due to the economy. Most people served up hot dogs & hamburgers instead of steaks to help conserve on the food budgets. Personally I love hot dogs but not as much as Joey Chestnut who managed to eat 68 of them to win the hot dog eating contest on Coney Island on July 4th. Wow Joey! Congrats.

Than Sarah Palin decides to step down as governor of Alaska at the end of this month. Now haven’t we all wanted to tell our boss to take this job and shove it but Sarah, please, you are the governor! And you only had one more year left on the job. What was so bad to make you fold now? I have said this before and I will say this again, it’s easy to see Sarah is not a southern woman! A southern woman would have hung in there just to piss off the press and everyone else. A southern woman would have told the press to kiss her high and mighty ass and held tight to her job. Then she would have walked away with her head held high, flipping off the press with a resounding FUCK YOU as she left office. But that’s just the way we are. Think not? Just ask our men. They know better then to criticize our fried potatoes or else those jack asses would be eating them for dinner every night until hell froze over. Yes, Southern Women can be onery but we can be no-nonsense and get things done. Men just know not to get in our way. Yep, Sarah ain’t southern!

Steve McNair was found shot to death in Nashville this weekend by his girlfriend in what appears to be a murder-suicide. Trust me this was no one-night stand either. This affair had been going on long enough for him to set her up nicely in a sweet condo and for them to buy a Cadillac Escalade together in both names. A double life takes a little time even though she was only twenty years old. They had been stopped by the police a few days before the deaths for drunk driving and she was taken to jail. McNair was released as he was just a passenger. He bailed her out of jail but something really bad went down between them because forty-eight hours later they were both found dead in a locked house. I feel sorry for Mrs. McNair and their children. His death and the manner surrounding it has to be hard on them. But let this be a lesson to all philandering husbands, when you sin you pay the price. Sometimes that price is one you are not prepared to pay, your life. Just because she is cute it doesn’t mean she is not crazy. Better think before you leap.

Jon & Kate spent the 4th of July with their Eight…together! Guess Jon & Kate found out that seperately they are not the stars of the show. The kids are. No one tunes in to see that husband-hating bitch Kate or her sloth of a husband Jon. Seperately they are not worth looking at but it’s the children we the public adore seeing grow up. To us, their stupid parents are something we tolerate to enjoy the sweet kids. I think it’s something TLC and Kate found out when she filed for divorce from Jon and the public turned on her like rabid dogs ripping her apart. She was hated to say the least. The media and viewing public blamed her for the marriage’s failure. Personally I did too. I have seen several episodes and she treats him like a dog. Kate talks to him like he was one of the kids and frankly she’s lucky he never slapped the shit out of her for treating him that way in public. Maybe if he had stood up to that ball-buster she would have respected him a little more. I stopped watching because it became too painful to watch her act like such a hard nose bitch to everyone. I wanted him to kick her ass or one of the kid to throw up on her, something to put Miss Bitch in her place. When it never happened I turned it off. I don’t blame the guy for going out and having some fun, god knows he never had any with her. And now the kids are not having any fun with her either. she was photographed spanking on of them and heard yelling at all of them all over town. Poor little things. I see patricide written on the wall for this screwed up bunch. She better fear the day one of those kids grows up and learns how to use a knife!